I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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