Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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