Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
