i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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