I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
