there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
