two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
