Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
