So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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