Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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