3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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