This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
