Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
