I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He has the fingertips of a God
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