dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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