We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
