I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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