Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
