well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
