My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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