Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Everyone says I win the strip club
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
