Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
