Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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