Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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