I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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