Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
