Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
