i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My life is pants optional.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
