It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
