I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
