he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
