if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
