At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it hurts more in the daytime
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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