I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
