Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
