If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
