they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
