Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
