There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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