You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
