lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
