I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
