this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
