So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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