I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
