I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
