Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
