I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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