Duck Duck Cougar?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
