i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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