I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
