i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
