Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
