Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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